The totally random fanfic
by Narufan4ev
Summary: What happens on a peaceful day of Tokyo? No one knows unless you read!
1. Chapter 1

**Narufan4ev: Hello it is me again! I'm going to try out this random thing. If you think it is good please tell. If you think it's just plain horrible and embarrasses you please tell.**

**Kyo: Okay it embarrasses me.**

**Narufan4ev: Sorry but you don't count! On with the randomness!**

It was a very peaceful day in Tokyo. The sky was a blue shade of blue with a few clouds. One cloud was shaped like a carrot. Another was shaped like a man eating cheese while reading a very funny comic. Another looked like a cloud. One looked like my adorable kittens. Well, anyway…

It was a peaceful day on the Sohma manner when Akito walked out of her room and over a cliff that magically appeared there.

"She had it coming," Hatori mumbled walking past the cliff. All of a sudden Glinda the Good popped out of nowhere.

"Let the good news be spread! The wicked old Akito at last is dead!" she yelled. Then from out of nowhere Momiji and a disgruntled Hiro popped up.

"Ding dong Akito is dead!" they sang.

"Which old Akito?" Sang Tohru and Kisa.

"The wicked Akito!" sang them all. And there was much rejoicement for like 5 seconds. Then out of nowhere Kyo came up with a mike.

"I drink beer because it's good! I drink beer because I should!" Kyo yelled before holding the mike out while he bowed his head. He then dropped the mike and backed out of the room dramatically. Everyone was silent for 6 seconds until Naruto and Sasuke jumped into the room.

"Why the hell are we here?" Sasuke asked.

"I don't know! This crazy girl just threw me at her computer and here I am!" Naruto yelled.

"Like OMG are they gonna make-out?" a random girl shouted from the giant group that was apparently there.

"Um no we're not," Naruto said not having seen the giant group.

"Like OMG they are!" shouted someone else.

"Come here Naruto you sexy beast!" Sasuke said to Naruto. Naruto, freaked out, ran from the room. Sasuke laughed wickedly. Sasuke did a happy dance and stared at the Sohmas.

"So you don't remember me?" Sasuke asked.

"No, in fact I don't even think you're part of this series!" Kyo yelled having stepped back into the room.

"Oh yeah! Then answer this one question," Sasuke said smirking. "Stupid says what!"

"What?" Kyo said who is apparently stupid. "Dammit!"

"Ahaha! No w shut up!" Sasuke said. "Now if you must know I am the long-lost duck-billed platypus of the zodiac! That's why I don't like girls!"

"Saw it coming," Hatori mumbled.

**Narufan4ev: So tell me was that complete crap or should I keep going?**

**Kyo: I thought it was complete crap!**

**Narufan4ev: Once again Kyo, your opinion doesn't count! Now please review!**


	2. Chapter 2

**Narufan4ev: Because I got reviews for this… I'm continuing!**

**Kyo: Whoopee freakin' doo! **

**Narufan4ev: I'm glad you're so enthusiastic, Kyo, because I'm going to make you a star! **

**Yuki: No one ever wants to make me a star! My life is a black abyss! (walks to emo corner)**

**Narufan4ev: Yuki I made you a star of my other fanfic which was a real story! This is just a crappy side thing I'm working on!**

**Kyo: Yay I get to be the star of a crappy side thing. Aren't I soo lucky. Narufan4ev: Oh you're welcome Kyo! (huggles Kyo) **

As Sasuke told of his tale of battling the forces of girls, which the Sohmas could relate to, he told them of how he discovered he was a duck-billed platypus. Kyo of course was listening as if the person he hated life was in danger. In other words he didn't listen at all. Instead he was wondering where that sexy Naruto ran off to. Then out of nowhere Hiro ran into the room and told them that some dude named Orochimaru was threatening to jump off a building. Of course Kyo being the kind person he is sat down at the bar and ordered himself a drink. Then he heard Sasuke's voice.

"Orochimaru! Oro_chi_maru. Orochi_maru_," Sasuke said trying to get over the memories of the two years spent with the creepy guy. I mean seriously! That guy's tongue was like longer then the entire continent of North America! Just the thought of it gave Sasuke chills. Kyo stared at him like he was crazy. He wasn't too far off.

"I shall take care of this! For he is my ex-sensei!" With that sasuke ran out of the door that appeared from nowhere. As he ran you could hear him singing "I of the Tiger". So courageous was he!

"I swear I'll d-do i-it!" came Orochimaru's girly ass voice from the top of a two-story building as the police below stood astounded at the length of his tongue. Sasuke then ran up ending his song. "Oh my God! Sasuke-kun!" Sasuke winced at the sound of his ex-sensei's voice. It was like listening to cats rip apart a chalkboard with their claws.

"What are you doing?" Sasuke said to the snake-person-thing (Naru: I will now refer to him as that. ;)

"Well, I'm about to jump!" the snake-person-thing said.

"Why?" Sasuke said bored.

"Because you left me!"

"Well, I know I'm sexy as hell but that's no reason to kill yourself!"

"So you do love me! Will you come back to me!?" the snake-person-thing said smiling a smile that could scare a lion.

"Oh my God! Put that smile away! First of all no I will not go back to you! Second of all I'm with Naruto now!" Sasuke said as he pulled a scared Naruto out of nowhere. "And to tell you the truth you creep me the fuck out!"

"Fine then I'll kill myself!" shrieked the snake-person-thingy.

"Okay," Sasuke said stepping away from the building so he didn't get any guts on him and the scared Naruto.

"I mean it!"

"That's fantastic."

"I swear I'll do it!"

"Then stop talking to me!" Sasuke said as he saw something red flash by and land on the building the snake-person-thing was on.

"Stop being such a sissy and do it already!" Inuyasha yelled at the snake-person-thingy. He the pushed the snake-person-thing off the building. He then hit the floor with a splat landing on his dead arms and still being alive.

"I will get you Inuyasha! And your … uh… little Shippo too!" snake-person-thing said with a cackle as he ran off with no arms. Sasuke was horrified at the sight and let go of Naruto to puke. Naruto then ran off.

"Wait Naruto! It was meant to be!" Sasuke screamed running after Naruto. Inuyasha on the other hand stood on the roof and raised his sword (Naru: I can't spell it and won't even try!) in the air and spun it.

"I have the power!" Inuyasha yelled still spinning his sword. He then ran away to cheat on Kagome with Kikyo. Kyo was now getting sick of all these freaks jumping out of nowhere.

"I don't like green eggs and ham!" Kyo shouted at the top of his lungs. The police just stared at him. Kyo then heard a voice from behind him.

"Hey, you're mighty fine," said a cool voice. Kyo turned around to see none other then Tsunade standing behind him. He took one look at her and fell in love.

**Narufan4ev: Wow I actually continued!**

**Kyo: Ya amazing...**

**Narufan4ev: Awww... whats wrong Kyo?**

**Kyo: Do I have to fall in love with _her_?**

**Tsunade: Hey what did you say?!**

**Kyo: I said I don't like you! What you gonna do?**

**Narufan4ev: Kyo I don't think thats such a great idea-**

**Tsunade: THATS IT! YOU'RE GOIN' DOWN! (starts beating Kyo to a pulp like Kagura) **


	3. Chapter 3

**Narufan4ev: I'm such a horrible authoress!!!!! (sob) I don't deserve to see a computer!! Much less touch one!!**

**Naruto: It's okay! You just didn't update for… HOLY CRAP!! 4 months!! What the hell woman what the hell?!**

**Narufan4ev: WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!**

**Naruto: I-I mean that's not that bad… I guess… sorta… I mean 4 months?! **

**Narufan4ev: (sniff) Really?**

**Naruto: Ya sure…**

**Narufan4ev: (sniff) Okay! I'll get started right now then!**

**Naruto: You better if these people have been waiting for 4 months…**

Kyo instantly fell in love.

"Hello gorgeous! Do you have a map because I just got lost in your eyes?" Kyo said eye-brow raised and a smirk on his face. The world nearly stopped when it heard the pick-up line. Some girl in America broke a pencil in half because she felt like beating up someone with orange hair. Tsunade on the other hand blushed and then hit Kyo upside the head playfully while still blushing.

"Thanks," she giggled. Kyo's face was still buried in the ground. "None of the guys at home would ever say something so nice!"

"You're welcome," Kyo said taking his face out of the ground. Just then a flash of yellow landed beside Tsunade. It was Naruto.

"Old hag! Sasuke said he wants to tame my ass! Whatever that means!" said the clueless and frightened Naruto while hiding behind Tsunade who looked pissed.

"Well first of all don't call me 'old hag'!! Second of all there is nothing I can do about the gay brat because I'm not the author of this crappy story! So just deal with it!!" said Tsunade kicking Naruto far, far away. Then she looked at Kyo, who was now scared out of his mind, with a smile. She then leaned in. "Now where were we?"

Kyo was now thinking that having two Kaguras like him was not a good idea.

"Wait umm… how old are you?" he nearly screamed out of fright.

"I don't see why it matters but I'm 40-ish… okay 50-ish! But I like 20 don't I!?" she said looking at him.

"Well, I'm 16 and that's quite an age difference!" he said sounding relieved. Tsunade looked sad.

"Is there no one in this world who is my age and not the pervert or the snake-person-thing?!" she cried to the sky. Kyo who didn't like listening to old ladies cry pulled Kazuma out of nowhere.

"There is my dad Kazuma!" said Kyo with a smile. Kazuma had a surprised look which was replaced with a smile when he saw Tsunade.

**Kyo: Yes! I'm free of the Kagura wannabe!!**

**Tsunade: What did you say punk!! **

**Narufan4ev: Actually if the two get married it will be kinda awkward knowing you once were in love with your step mother…**

**Naruto: Ohhhhh awkward…**

**Sasuke: Naruto!!! Where are you?!**

**Naruto: Gotta go!! At least she doesn't approve of SasuNaru otherwise I would have given up a long time ago! Right Narufan4ev?**

**Narufan4ev: Um… actually… (Sasuke runs in and glomps Naruto)**

**Sasuke: Got you Naru-chan! (drags Naruto out)**

**Naruto: Narufan4ev why?!! **

**Narufan4ev: Well ya anyways please forgive me for the late update!! (and sorry how short it was)**


	4. Chapter 4

**Narufan4ev: Because I'm in a 'type on the computer' kind of mood I'll give the people out there a special treat!**

**Kyo: Yay a crappy story…**

**Narufan4ev: I'm glad you're so enthusiastic cause you ARE the star!**

**Kyo: Please stop reminding me…**

**Naruto: Hey Narufan4ev do we appear in this chapter?!**

**Narufan4ev: (checks over chapter) Sorry but nope! Maybe next chapter!**

**Naruto: Awww…**

**Kyo: lucky bastards…**

**Narufan4ev: Onto the story!!**

Kazuma and Tsunade stared at each other for awhile before their eyes turned into little hearts.

"You're hot!!" Tsunade screeched before she jumped into Kazuma's arms and they drove away. Kyo let out a breath of relief and he nearly died when snake-person-thing jumped out at him.

"Will you be my new student?" snake-person-thing asked with puppy-dog eyes and his stub arms.

"Oh holy crap no!!" Kyo yelled before vomiting profusely onto the sidewalk and then laid on the floor in a fetal position retching. "Kill… me…"

"Fine! I'm sure someone else will want to join!" snake-person-thing said miffed. He then stomped away.

"God this is embarrassing," said Yuki standing in the corner looking at Kyo.

"Like OMG is he going to go to his side and declare his eternal love for him?" yelled someone from the group that was now there.

"No I will not! Where the hell do you guys come from anyways?" asked a pissed off Yuki. One of the girls stepped forward.

"We are friends of the author! We are here to provide plenty of romance and funny!" the girl yelled proudly.

Yuki stared at the girl. _Was this girl crazy, _he thought.

"Are you crazy?" he asked simply. The girl looked bashfully at him.

"I try," she said shyly.

"Oooooooookay," Yuki said backing away. He then looked past the girl to see that there were only two girls. "Hey what happened to that abnormally large group of people?"

"We are magical fairies destined to guide the story!" said a second girl joining the first. The first smacked her upside her head. "HEY!"

"We are not magical fairies!" #1 said rolling her eyes. "We simply have the power to duplicate and change our appearance with the essence of magic!" She stated it as if it was the easiest thing in the world.

"Okay I'm gonna go now," Yuki said backing away slowly. #3 ran up to him and grabbed his wrist.

"No you can't! The author is depending on us to keep the story going!" #3 said hurriedly. "But then again she's writing the story so she wouldn't let you go anyways…"

"I never thought of it that way…" #2 said thoughtfully. Then she snapped to realization. "That means she's writing what we're saying as we speak!"

"Oh my gosh you're right!" #1 said fearfully. "So anything we say or do it's because of her!! Crap! Crap!"

#1 calmed down. "What was I scared about again?"

"She's changing our moods too-! Hey guys you wanna get something to eat?" #2 calmed down. #3 looked at the two weirdly and walked away dragging the two away before they ruined my story!

"That's weird. I didn't know there was a Starbucks there," Yuki said completely forgetting that he was in a story and the three girls… ;)

"Starbucks are everywhere. Even in this crappy story," Kyo said standing next to Yuki.

"What story?" Yuki asked.

"Huh?"

"Huh?"

"Riiight."

"Let's get a frappuccino!!" Yuki yelled and then ran in.

"Ya!!" Kyo said doing the same thing. They went in and spent much of the Sohma's money on Starbuck's overpriced foods. When they came out they were sophisticated college students/hippies.

"Freedom, man, is an illusion of fate," Kyo stated drinking his frap.

"The overpriced economy monitors our thoughts from birth with chips," Yuki said sipping his Mocha Latte.

"The president is a fist crashing down on our ball of hope!" Kyo screamed to the air and drinking his own Mocha Latte. He bought back-ups.

**Narufan4ev: There you have it! The epic 4****th**** chapter!!**

**Kyo: Riiight… that sucked you realize?**

**Narufan4ev: You realize you're a party-pooper?**

**Kyo: … A touché…**

**Narufan4ev: Thanks for reading!! **


End file.
